May memories be eternal and pawsteps unending...

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Yesterday, I printed out D.Gray-man's 'Regret' and today, I more or less know how to play the entire thing.
But I really want to hear it in good quality.
My crappy old piano can't produce the sound I want.
I want...
What I want right this instant, is to play on a Grand Piano...
I want to train my fingers' sensitivity....
Maybe one day it'll come true.

Another wish which I plan to make true this X'mas is to get a DS and play Ninten Dogs!!!
Stupid game?
Nuh-uh...
I enjoy these "boring" interactive games.
So there!
Finished ranting. ^^

- Ouran High Host Club Moe Moe Diary ;

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Rrrrrrrrwowowoarrararrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So HYPER now!!! (no actually, I feel like sleeping)
I was searching for pictures (Anime/Manga of course ^^) and I feellll SO HAPPEEE~~!!!!!
I get this excited chrurning sensation in my stomach as I think about the next Manga Art I'm gonna work on!
...
Wuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.......
Oh yeah, suddenly, I like little kids alot.
Those aging around a few months and a few years old!
So cuuuuuute!!!!!!!!!!
I like the real human ones but still, I like them better as a Manga character.
Ahahaha~~~
Hmmm...recently, I've been trying to avoid probing into my friends' problems to relax myself...
Looks like its all working!
I don't feel that stressed any more.
Now I can concentrate on my coming SA2...
NOT!
*sighs* Apparently, I'm still too distracted with the Story I promised to write for my Daughter and bu Drawing too!
By sleeping too.
By the computer and piano...
By dreams...

Oh yeah, about dreams, AI YORI AOSHI rocks!!!!!!!!!!!
Especially the special X'mas episode!
You just HAVE to watch it!
After I watched it, I felt all pumped up for the next school day! (As you probably know, I get suuuuuuuuuper hyper whenever I watch Anime~~~ lalalalala!!!)
So CUTE!
I swear, Aoi-chan is SO kawaii and beautiful~~~
She and that pervert Kaoru are really well matched and meant for each other.

Hmmm...I guess that this Anime affrims that all boys, no matter how kind or good, are perverts at heart.
I was SOOOO dissapointed with Kaoru-kun...
But at least he doesn't try to peek at girls and stuff...
Well, what can you expect with a guy who's staying with 6 girls? Oh wait, make that 7. (One female ferret named Uzume~)

Okay, this is random.
Shouldn't be posting at all...
Doing homework...
HAIIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...........................

Buai Buai~~
(What kind of signature move should my Haterix have??)

- Ouran High Host Club Moe Moe Diary ;

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

I don't know why...everything seems so weird right now.
I don't really want to discuss this.
...I'm not even sure what the problem is.

Oh well, sorry about that vulgar post (and yes, to you people, it isn't really vulgar but to me it is).
I needed to vent out my anger.

Hmm...nice picture.
Ouran...kyu kyu~!!!
Haruhi looks SOOO cute and man, the Twins are so hot! (don't know why I said that. Guess it kinda suited the image)

Alright, alright.

I've been typing to so many people and things, the bones in my fingers are threatening to snap (I'm not kidding. They hurt hell)

Anyway, I shall start with how I started my day.

Morning:
Okay, while waiting for the 307 bus, a group of Regent students came over.
A noisy much, they sure are....
There was one girl---she had long hair and was wearing the Sec1 uniform---who was the loudest and most impractical of em' all.
The 1st thing she did when she came to the bus stop was to do some weird pose on the pillar and shout across the road: "Hey! Do I look seductive?!"
I was like: "...what?" *twitch eyebrow*

Her voice was so piercing and shrill.
And she was singing this awful song that was meant to be a joke.
When the bus came, the whole gang went in.

As usual, I sat on the 4 seater thing and some of the Regenties sat opposite of me.
One, suddenly shrieked so loud for no apparent reason, and my hand instinctively clasped my left ear (a remarkably sensitive one) and I muttered an involuntary "Oh shit".
I got up, walked to the back of the bus and found the noisy Sec1 girl there.
...
=.='''

LOL!!!

Thankfully, they got of at the interchange.
So many vulgarities!!!
My ear was throbbing so painfully.

JFYI, whenever I hear shirll screaming, squeaking, shrieking, (most of the 's'), or vulgatities, my ear will start to recoil and hurt.

I hope when I'm at the studio, I will be of use. I'm always like...carrying things here and there.
Not doing much as I don't know.
So worthless.
So useless.
What am I there for?
Oh yeah, yesterday, they couldn't find the wire for the directonal mike so in the end, I'm out of a job.

Afternoon (Work!!!):
mm...my right shoulder where I usually carry myself feels really odd and empty. Not to mention that its actually aching!
And is it me?
But do I always come too early?
I reached there at 11:15 when I'm supposed to come at 11:30 (not much of a diffrence) but no one was there!!
When I checked the studio and mac lab...nobody!
In the end, I started travelling up and down and in circles so many bloody times in search for that Botak Head...
I was wearing myself out...

Aand...he was 15 minutes late.

Never mind that.

There was this articale about a woman who claims she can remember her past life.
Oo
Yeaahh...righht...
We were only given one life by God so I don't believe in this kinda crap.

I think they noticed me flinching whenever Aravin uses the 'F-word' (natural reflex) cuz Li Ping was normal.

There were so many posters to make the "bedrooms" or the project more realistic.
All Americans...
Too bad no Japanese.
Haizz...

There was this girl, an actress, who could actually tie her hair up in this Lenalee-style!
I was like...Oh my God...

And there was one blooper, where one girl (what was her name? I can't spell it) where she had to say:
"It's about time that camera busted."
And so the mroe she practiced the word 'busted' to stop making it sound like 'bastard', it kept getting funnier!!!

For some reason, I felt like a total moron whenever I'm with ZJ doing work.
I wish I knew what to do instead of standing down there like a retard...
So useless!
><
He's like a pro and I'm like...well.

I played with Aravin's Mircosoft Word.
They were saying something about a blowjob and I typed my thoughts about the blowjob thing down:
'What the heck is a blowjob?
Some plastic surgery that blows up boobs like balloons?
...
HUH?!'

Yeah...and there were like:
"Who wrote that?!"

When I said it was me, Aravin was like:
"Really? Rachel? Of all the innocences..."

LOL

I was bored at that time!

Evening:
Start to feel better while chatting with that idiot.
Aravin seems in a really black mood...
Anyway, I accidentally touched one of the lights and burned my finger.
*ouch!!!*
It was raining when we could pack up.
And as I didn't bring anything, I got caught in the rain.
Of course, ZJ had an umbrella but he thought it'd be too awkward to share it with a girl.
I was okay with that...
Just to warn you:
ZHI JIE IS un-GENTLEMANLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...
Joking...joking... ^^
LOL

But yeah, after sitting in the cold bus, I ran all the way home and got soaked again.
Home wasn't good either.
Fighting...
Quarreling...
(not me)
And E-learning.
I'm finished.
I'm doomed.
I can't survive.
How do to?!!!!!!!!!

...

Maybe tomorrow will be a better day?

Oh wait.

Grace and ZJ are not coming...
...
..
.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Ouran High Host Club Moe Moe Diary ;

CRAP!!!
I'm sick of this crappin idiotic life!
My family keeps thinking I'm so freakin' free!
Am I?
NO!!!!!!!!!!!
I have to help out with a stupid Mediabytes project everyday!!!
I'm given a job, I can't be irresponsible!
I have to manage my homework and studies!
I have to figure out crappin Angles which I have no idea how to!
I have to this and that, and I can't even sleep early as I need to do work!
I can't teach my sister.
I can't bring Goldie for his walk.
I can't eat slowly.
I can't spend time with my family.
I can't talk with my Mummy.
I can't play the piano.
I can't prove my trustworthiness.
I can't prove my responsibility.
I can't chat on the phone.
I can't even find time to write my stories and draw, dammit!!!
It doesn't mean that every time I use the computer, I'm just using the computer...
I need to work to you know?
I don't even get to eat lunch at a proper time!
I have to swallow stupid criticisms just because that person doesn't understand and refuses to understand my thoughts!
I don't understand what the shit my parents' are thinking about against each other!
I don't even know how long I can last before everything splits up!
I'm slow when it comes to studies because I'm stupid, retarded and a spas.
What?
I can't be slow?
I walk slow, run slow, think slow, react slow ...
I can't help it!
You think I want it?
You think I like it?
It's not my fault!
And when things get a little to quick for me, I go crazy and can't manage my time at all!
Like now!!!!!!!!
I just want to be a happy-go-lucky carefree kid/teenager, whatever!
Why can't I?
Why do I keep questioning God?
Why can't I have a simple belief?
...
WHY DO THEY THINK I'M SO FREE?
GOD, I CAN'T TAKE THIS MUCH LONGER.

Right now, so many of my works have to be done via computer.
Are they gonna start accusing me of using the computer for so long and not spending time with my family?
I want to chill with my family too, ya know?!??!?!?!
I love them!
But I need to chillax and seriously.
Typing the Story for my daughter which I promised is leisure for me!
Reading Manga and drawing Manga too.
Surfing the Net for more piano pieces to play.
*sobs*
Is that too much to ask?
All I want...
These are my leisures.
Lame.
Weird.
Boring.
Fun?
Not likely?
But that's what YOU PEOPLE think.
I know I'm different, and I like that.
Who wants to be too normal? It's boring.
The point is, these are my only leisure.
...
I know they don't include other people but hey.
Can I help it that my interests involve only one person?
I can't force and interest you know?!

I still have to maintain in Express.
I don't know if I can actually do it.
It's not easy for me.
I can't pass Maths or Chinese.
I'm trying.
I'm trying...

People don't see that but I'm really trying.
But every time, I try, people assume that I'm not.
And once they fix their mind on it that I'm not trying, nothing I say can change their minds!
...

Alright.

Finished venting my anger.

Time to go study that freakin' Maths or are you gonna contradict me again?

- Ouran High Host Club Moe Moe Diary ;

Monday, September 1, 2008

You know, I can't even remember why I was feeling so depressed the other day, nya~~~

Totally forgotten!

Ahahahahahahahaha~~~!!!!!

Anyway, I recall vaguely that it was because I had no more interests towards Manga Art and Japan.

...

WRONGO!!!

I prayed to God and asked Him to open my Interests again (or something similar).

I really hoped that it was the lack of reading Manga because I really miss that wild, pure energy rushing through my Soul and Being whenever I see/touch/read Manga.

Here are the symptoms:

NOTE: This symtoms are post commenly seen/felt when I read Ouran Koukou Housto Kurabu as it's the only Manga I read (hehehe...)

When I hold the Manga:

1) My stomach will start twisting, swirling, turning and doing flip-jacks.

When I read the Manga:

1) An odd urge to scream will swell up in my chest but hover around my throat and not escape. 2) Another weird urge to cry and my eyes will feel swollen. But nothing comes out. It's as if something's blocking the tears...

3) A shortness of breath.

4) After a while, all those strong conflicting emotions will swell up in my chest and stab my heart. It's really agonizing.

5) Finally, I will put the Manga down and try to breathe properly again...

___________________________________________________________

And guess what?

These symtoms are coming back!!!

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And its all because I read Ouran Manga Book 12!!!!!!!!!

Oh man... *tears up*

Its that Manga that realy makes me want to continue my dream...

The love...the frames...the actions, movement, heart-rending moments!

*gasp!!!*

I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Ouran High Host Club Moe Moe Diary ;

THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM GOD PASSED ON BY MY PASTORS.
I AM NOT LYING, I REPEAT, I AM NOT LYING!!!
THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE SO I SUGGEST YOU PAY ATTENTION AND HEED GOD'S WORDS.

30/08/08

(Note: I am speaking from my Heart and Spirit so do NOT joke)
Bear with me, this will be long but I assure you, some of your questions wIll/may be answered.
______________________________________________
1st MESSAGE – Earthquake Prophecy
Today, we had a drama play in Church about what happens AfterLife.
It features 4 people: Carrie (I think), Mark, Nicholas and Li Zhen (I think).
Carrie is a girl who loves and truly believes in God and obeys Him faithfully.
Mark is ... I'm not too sure.
Nicholas is a boy that leads two different paths; one that vaguely believes in God, while the other living a life of Sin.
Li Zhen once believed in God but after a painful incident, she loses her faith entirely and thinks the Cross is nothing but a piece of jewelry that makes fun of her.

Anyway, its a really spiritual and emotional play that shook, terrified and awed me at the same time. (Man, ELDDS are gonna get jealous by those awesome actors!)

I cried...again (I always cry in Church...God's Spirit is there)

Okay.
You know about the Si Cuan Earthquake?
And the part where they rescuers found a mother over her baby in a triangular position so as to stop the wall from killing her baby; the one with the touching sms message?
That was actually an omen from God.

You see, in the Bible, God said that when He was going to return to Earth, there will be massive earthquakes, disasters etc.
It proved right with the Si Chuan earthquake.

And did you know that that mother and child was actually representing what God did for us?

The mother didn't know whether positioning herself the way she did to withstand the falling walls from crushing her baby would work.
The baby might live, or the baby might die.
Still, because of her love for her child, she was willing to take that risk.
And when she typed that sms message, saying that if the baby survived, the baby must always remember that the mother loved him/her,

Likewise, when God sent His only child, Jesus, to die on the Cross, it wasn't confirmed that everyone would believe in Him and be saved from Spiritual Death.
Still, He did it.
He did it because He loved us.
His children.
He sent His only Son so that whoever believed in Him, shall not perish but have eternal Life.
And He also wanted us to know that what He did, was because he really, really Loved us.

Spiritual Death is an extremely awful, gruesome, agonizing and alot more other words which, to tell the truth, can never describe, Death.
And it lasts forever.
...
Forever.

I was so terrified when I heard that.
Believing in God with all your Heart isn't really enough.
One must obey Him and bring more people into His Kingdom...

I would obey Him!
...
But do what?

I'm really afraid for all my friends, especially my daughter, who do not believe in Christ.
This is the Truth.
The real Truth which many regards as a mere, little fairy tale.
But it is NOT!
I cry whenever imagine them perishing eternally in the Lake of Fire...
No...
I can't let that happen!
I need to save people!
Right now, non-believers reading this post must think I'm insane but I'm NOT!
I swear it!
I swear this Truth!
If not, all my fingers would be hacked off gorily and I'll never be able to Draw, Write, Play the Piano or Create again!

Oh...the Holy Spirit is stirring inside me now right as I type and declare...
It's this churning feeling in my stomach, but-not-quite-stomach...
Please.
I know I don't sound convincing right now but I am telling you the Truth!

Please read on to see the next Message.
Nicholas. You in particular should see this.

2nd Message - The Void in our Hearts

God created us with the ability to make choices.
He gave us Free Will to choose what is right and wrong; what to do and what to not do.
He could just made us like robots, obeying His every command, but NO!
He gave us the power to make choices for ourselves!

Not only that, we were all created with an empty void in us.
A dark, hollow and yawning void.
I know this for it is True.
I have it too.
Everyone has it though sometimes they hardly notice it as they don't go deep into their Souls...but there's no need for that.
You know there is one.
There is.
Don't ask me how to feel it...You just do.

Anyway, in Life, many people carry on with their Lives trying to fill up this empty hollowness in their Soul/Heart/Spirit.
They fill it with Wealth, Interests, Food and lots of other things but mostly Love (I know because I did it before).
But still, after doing all these things, they will still feel empty.
Hollow.
Empty.
Devoid.
Some feel that nobody loves them and that they don't belong to this world. (yeah, I felt like that too many times till I really can't remember or count).

And this is the Truth:

The void in our beings is NOT the lack of Love.
I repeat; it is NOT because of the lack of Love.
It is the RESULT of NOT having a RELATIONSHIP with GOD.

That void...can only, ONLY, be filled up by the Love of Christ.

I am not writing a story or fabricating any nonsense!

This is the Pure Truth!

I know it as I have experienced all of these before.

...Give your Life to God.
He loves you, He knows what's the best for you.

God is a great God.
Sure!
There are MANY religious beliefs but tell me:
Have any of those gods gave their Life up for you?

Sure! You might tell me that it's none of your business that God died for you.
But tell me honestly, all that I've said; the emptiness, the weird feeling that might be tugging at you (by the way, that's the Holy Spirit), the true prophecy...
Can't you feel it?

I know this isn't a very convincing speech (though I started out, wanting to tell you how I feel...) but really.
If you feel that tug of your Soul, this longing and flicker of awareness that this is the Truth...
That is the Holy Spirit calling you.

If you want to give your Life onto God.
If you want Him to guide you in your Life.
To know answers.
To fill that void.
To make you feel truly whole.
Then repeat this prayer after me.
But remember, you are really giving your Life into God's hands, a brand new world and Life.
Do go to a church to clarify this...really.
Maybe your parents won't allow but hey, its God we're talking about here.
Not some game you're gonna secretly buy.
You never know.
With God's help, you're probably going to get your family to know God and save them.

Unless you're already a Christan that has wandered away from God but finds that God is speaking to you once again...that relentless tugging of your spirit....

"Dear God, I know that I'm a Sinner. I made wrong choices and did bad things. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I know your Son, Jesus, died for my sins and I believe you raised him from the dead. I want Jesus to be my Lord. Thank you for loving me and making me your child. Now, please fill me with your Holy Spirit, so I will have all the strength I need to obey you. Amen."

- Ouran High Host Club Moe Moe Diary ;

I'm writing for my precious posts.

Woohooo~~~The cross-country run, dammit.
(-_-)''' ..tasukete...

Happy Teacher's Day to all the teachers who know they deserve it!!!
(E.g. Auntie Mei, Madam Chua Gek Tiang)

In case any of ya wants to know what the cross-country run is about, it's a some kind of physical torture which strains your muscles, tackles your sanity, causes dehydration and---
Okay, okay... I'll not stretch the truth.
Well, I'm not really sure what the point of this activity was though.
We had to run (or walk) around the circumference of the entire canal starting from our school... and I was really appalled by the distance.
It wasn't so bad to start with; I saw Nicholas in his PE attire again (YEAH!!! \(^0^)/) and saw him and Zhi Jie run and loads of other irrelevant stuff.
I was running (strolling) with Ling Huey at a comfortable and leisurely pace, observing the (filthy) scenery and breathing (gagging) the (revolting) air.
I was feeling mighty fine, and we could even chat.
But after a while, the distance, dull scenery, toxic air, and mostly the lack of exercise, took its toll on me.
I began to lag behind, becoming increasingly tired as the minutes ticked by.
After a while, we had to go through this icky muddy terrain which made me slow down all the more.
Ling Huey left me and went on her own...way ahead of me.
It made me really sad to think that, no one would actually accompany me to the end of the journey because they don't have enough patience to endure my slowness.
I wonder if there will be anyone in this world who is willing to stay and wait for me until the very end...
Then again, I don't want to trouble that person.
I don't wanna drag him/her behind just because of me...
Oh well.

Anyway, I was lacking air, my heart felt compressed and I felt rather light-headed.
I begun to pray fervently to God to help me stay conscious as I made my way back to school.
As I believed, He did.
I mean, seriously. I don't want to be a bother to others if they have to lug my body all the way back to school (hahaha!!!).

I made it, and I've never felt as close to fainting as I did then.
The world was SPIIIINNNINNGG!!!!!!!!!!!
The ground was shifting and there were some edges of black (maybe I imagined that) around my eyes, threatening to engulf me.

And the thing is, I didn't have water to drink.

I survived that as well and proceeded to the hall with anticipation to watch the Teacher's Day Celebration thingy.

...

Boy was I disappointed.
I mean, even Barney could do a better job...

There was pretty not-very-good singing (not that I can sing, though) and dancing (that was much better) and some stupid awards for teachers who I really don't think deserve.
Some did, but most didn't.

Halfway throughout the celebration, some people started crushing newspapers and making balls to throw across the hall.
It continued for so long...
Ling Huey wasn't in a good mood (which obviously affected me).

At the end, Mr Zainal (how to spell?) started yelling into the microphone and scolding the Sec 1s for blablablablablablabla...

Man, I was ticked!
Yeah...after which, Ling Huey lost her book which she (thankfully) managed to recover.

I and Ling Huey proceeded into the Mac Lab where Mediabytes and ELDDS members were having some meeting.
We were really freezing...
ZJ went around to turn up the air-con and eventually wore his school uniform over the PE attire to keep himself warm.

Aravin kept on rambling on to other, irrelevant things before, while, after getting to the point.
We were supposed to do some horror flim and its really gonna be interesting (I hope...)

After that, we had a lunch break.
Ling Huey, ZJ and I went to the canteen to eat and he kept trying to snap photos of me eating when I ducked behind a China girl and he caught her.

Sorry, China-girl-whom-I-don't-know-but-thought-you-looked-pretty-pissed!

I realized I've begun to become really, and I mean, REALLY, whiny.
When I think back, I feel this enormous urge to slap myself.
Oh man...
I'd better stop this whining habit.

I dislike whiny people...

Oh yeah, and before I end this post, Nicholas looked sad or troubled again.
I get the feeling he wanted to tell me something...
And sometimes when I look into his Mirrors to the Soul, they stare back so unwaveringly, I get a little unnerved.

Cheer up!!!

- Ouran High Host Club Moe Moe Diary ;

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

- Ouran High Host Club Moe Moe Diary ;

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

- Ouran High Host Club Moe Moe Diary ;

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

- Ouran High Host Club Moe Moe Diary ;

Monday, September 1, 2008

You know, I can't even remember why I was feeling so depressed the other day, nya~~~

Totally forgotten!

Ahahahahahahahaha~~~!!!!!

Anyway, I recall vaguely that it was because I had no more interests towards Manga Art and Japan.

...

WRONGO!!!

I prayed to God and asked Him to open my Interests again (or something similar).

I really hoped that it was the lack of reading Manga because I really miss that wild, pure energy rushing through my Soul and Being whenever I see/touch/read Manga.

Here are the symptoms:

NOTE: This symtoms are post commenly seen/felt when I read Ouran Koukou Housto Kurabu as it's the only Manga I read (hehehe...)

When I hold the Manga:

1) My stomach will start twisting, swirling, turning and doing flip-jacks.

When I read the Manga:

3) A shortness of breath.

4) After a while, all those strong conflicting emotions will swell up in my chest and stab my heart. It's really agonizing.

5) Finally, I will put the Manga down and try to breathe properly again...

___________________________________________________________

And guess what?

These symtoms are coming back!!!

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And its all because I read Ouran Manga Book 12!!!!!!!!!

Oh man... *tears up*

Its that Manga that realy makes me want to continue my dream...

The love...the frames...the actions, movement, heart-rending moments!

*gasp!!!*

I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Ouran High Host Club Moe Moe Diary ;